Do You See What Happens, Larry?

I received this in the mail the other day. I guess the good news is I've been added to Scott's health insurance policy. The bad news is the de facto rulers of our health care system are snarky merchants of greed who thrive on a mental diet of illogic and rigidity. Doesn't matter that I've barely climbed outside in the last year. Doesn't matter that, for the first time in big while, I can actually say that I spend a majority of my climbing time bouldering indoors. Doesn't matter that, statistically, indoor climbing is safer than indoor soccer. Doesn't matter that Scott's policy is unencumbered by any dour riders and they know he rock climbs and they don't care. Doesn't matter that I'd be fully covered if I was an avid four-wheeler with anger management issues, a Glock, and a torrid affair with Jack Daniels. Doesn't matter that we're paying hundreds and hundreds of dollars per month for a policy with an almost eleven grand (that's right) deductible. When confronted with a flawlessly diplomatic and polite "WTF?" from Scott, the underwriter noodled nervously before putting down her iron heel of sociopathic irrationality. We think she made up some rules on the spot. Ever the level-headed negotiator, Scott asked if I could at least be covered for any injuries incurred while climbing indoors. She told us that if we're such safe climbers we shouldn't be worried about climbing coverage in the first place.

Anyhoo, after hitting the single malt and witnessing Scott be angry for maybe the twelfth time in his whole life, we started talking about how we should show those vile bags of avarice over at Assurant that they could only invigorate our funhog quest. We would be clever and do something outrageous AND be fully covered. Like jump out of a plane.


Actually, it really didn't happen like that at all. We did in fact go skydiving. Scott took this shot that weekend of a couple of the lucky folks from the sunset load. Our plans, though, had nothing to do with retaliation against bureaucracy and everything to do with scratching a big mental itch. Doing something conceptually audacious but acceptably safe if combined with a little mental discipline. A common theme for us, it seems, tempered but certainly not diminished by the ripening sense of our own mortality that we've acquired over the last fourteen years we've been together. And pretty resilient to any bureaucratic garbage thrown our way by the scavenging orcs over in the health insurance industry.